A while back, I mentioned that one half of the labyrinth is lower than the other. When it rains heavily enough, that half of the field gets pretty soggy. Twice in the years I've lived here, we've had enough days of heavy rain in a row to actually flood it. Naturally, one of those floods was right after I'd planted the dwarf fruit trees, so two pears and a plum drowned in the mess. The paths have sunk a little lower than the ground around them, so on the rare occasions that I've walked in those conditions, I've literally sloshed in water part of the time.
It's kind of like depression. When you're in the heat of real trials, it seems more like the hot, muggy days, when you have fifteen things to do and none of them pleasant, when your brain seems fevered and gnats of worry or anger are buzzing around your head. But the grip of depression is more like cold mud. Your heart feels like a lump of clay, your squishy, uncomfortable feet move slowly and unwillingly, and there don't seem to be any flowers or fruit to enjoy, even if you felt like enjoying them.
There's depression and depression. Everybody, some of the time, goes through spells of gloom and joylessness. There are countless helpful things to do: pray, sing praise songs even if you don't feel like it, count blessings, write a list of all the things you're unhappy or annoyed about and see if there's one you can change (or burn the list!), talk to a friend, go do something silly, go to bed and wait it out, read a book, work on a project you like. Cry. Walk a labyrinth!
Then there's depression. If these moods seriously impair your life or the lives of those you love, if they last longer than a couple of weeks or don't seem to have any root in some real loss or trial, if your self-esteem is slipping and especially if you feel suicidal, then you need more help! To put it in our labyrinthine analogy, if it's not just that there are no fruits or flowers to enjoy, but you don't think there ever will be, call someone. You don't actually have to go find a counselor yourself, although if you take action early enough you will not find that so difficult. You can start by telling a friend, family member, pastor, your doctor--someone! That person will help you to find the help you need. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about--clinical depression has been an issue, not just in my life but in the lives of several family members.
Here's what I know: When you are slogging along in mud that never seems to end, when you are surrounded by a fog and you can't see any ray of hope, let alone sense the presence of God, God is still there. You can still speak out to the darkness and cold, you can say what seems entirely untrue: "I know you're there, God. Help me!" And even if you can't say that, God still will help you, almost certainly through kind people. Take the help. You'll look back and be so grateful!
Muddy days are okay. It's not the end of the world to get your feet wet, and the labyrinth couldn't be a living place without some rain. But nobody should have to live in mud all the time. If your path has been too cold and muddy for too long, stop, sit down, and yell for help. You will be heard.
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