Psalm 30 (read the whole thing--it's wonderful. These two verses are from the NASB)
10 “Hear, O LORD, and be gracious to me;
O LORD, be my helper.”
11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
12 That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
The first time I remember being particularly aware of this psalm was 33 years ago this coming July, standing helplessly by the side of my firstborn son's Isolette in Neonatal Intensive Care. He spent the first 12 days of his life there, and I spent them by his side. It could have been--indeed, should have been, by our science--6 weeks instead of 12 days, but at first we didn't know it was going to go well. They never told me until I was taking him home that when he arrived by Life Flight his Apgar score was 1 and they had no expectation of his surviving his first night.
I stood there, terrified, powerless, and I practiced fervently, intensely, with every fiber of my being, choosing praise and choosing surrender. "You will turn my mourning into dancing! You will, and I will praise you forever!" Side by side with, "Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Thy will be done, and if it's No, you will still turn my mourning into dancing and I will still praise you forever."
At 24, I had only begun to learn this difficult and painful attitude, and I do believe I burned more calories at the side of that Isolette than in a month of normal life.
And the answer was Yes. PRAISE GOD!!
Psalm 30 has been an invaluable fortress for me in many situations since that time. I don't know if I'm much better at carrying both those prayers at once, (they're heavy!) but at any rate, I have more practice. I even understand--a little--sometimes--okay, not much!--why I might sometimes be glad in the end when God says No. Sometimes. Certainly not in the loss of a child, but perhaps. . .
. . .perhaps. . .
in the setting free of a beloved husband from a disease that took him away in a much more horrible way than death.
"You have/will/are turned/turn/turning for me my mourning into dancing. . .
Oh, Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever."
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